Let's Forget About the Past

There is no one in this world without baggage.  Period.  Whether it's your parents' fucked up situation or your own shitty choices, we all end up wheeling around a carry-on sized bag at a minimum.  If you need to pack liquids, you're going to be checking that sucker.

I spent quite a bit of time analyzing some past relationships and decisions.  I think we all want to be able to pinpoint the moment where "it all went awry", but we can't.  Life is not a tree with one bad branch that needs cutting; it's a mosaic of broken tile pieces that we glue together.

Detroit Cobras sing an amazing song called "Let's Forget About the Past".  Youtube let me down though, so this is "It's Raining".  Equally depressing and beautiful, just not quite as fitting.  I went through the search though, so you should just click and listen anyway.

So, in an effort to cleanse...here are my worsts:

1) The College Sweetheart who in all actually was not so sweet.  CS was a liar and a manipulator that I stuck with for 5 years (not concurrent) despite knowing better after Year 1.  I was cheated on, broken down, and all but isolated.  But CS taught me to be outgoing (as I had to fight for attention) and gave me more self-confidence than I had before, being the typical bookworm/nerd that I was in high school.  Probably the best part of that relationship is CS still wants to date me and gets insanely awkward at those random events when we run into each other.  It's amusing and pathetic at the same time - which is the best way to view an ex you lost years to.

2) Friend of a Friend was actually a coworker of my best friend's boyfriend.  Sounds like a match made in heaven right?  Well, FOF was 11 years my senior in age and about 5 years my junior in maturity.  Quite the disparity.  My favorite quote was "I just can't tell when you're serious and when you're kidding."  To which I responded "You're an idiot" with a shit-eating grin.  We dated for about 2 months and then I told him to piss off on NYE and took home another guy.  It sounds crueler than it was...I tried to be nice, but he kept pressing me about going home with him.  We dated for 2 months, I need you to calm down on the possessiveness.

3) The Offender started out as probably the most organic relationship I'd ever had.  We met on NYE (and no, this was not the stranger from FOF), and had a connection, supposedly.  TO was all up in my business, and called or texted me EVERY DAY - I have subsequently learned to take this as a warning sign - and seemed really interested in dating me.  And kept asking me to be serious.  And once I finally acquiesced?  He ghosted.  Straight up disappeared and wouldn't return my calls/texts.  The reason for the nickname came about because I assumed he was dead.  Who would ignore me?  I'm fantastic - he must have died.  Upon a full google search of his name (middle initial included), I discovered he was a sex offender.  Registered, picture on the internet, whole nine yards.  I am now convinced he did me a favor.  Now I am convinced...at the time, I felt the need to send him a ranting email (to his work...BOOM) calling him out on it.

My past relationships don't define me.  I think ultimately I just need to learn from them and not make the same mistakes.  I'm a lot quicker to pull the plug (which may or may not be a good thing) and I don't tolerate idiocy anymore.  If you don't get something out of every relationship you're in, what's the point?  TO got me to go get on birth control (THANK GOD), FOF let me be the asshole in a relationship (much needed after CS), and countless other dates in between inspired new bands to love, shows to watch, and taught me the various signs of a potential stalker.  Perfect example - Veteran taught me that Sprecher makes real beer and not just root beer.  It's pretty delicious too.

My point in all this?  No matter how bad the situation may be, at the end of the day everyone comes into our lives for a reason.  It may not be our reason, but there is one in there somewhere.  Otherwise, this whole thing is just one big cluster fuck, so we kind of have to believe that, right?