So despite my earlier claim to be pausing my days of online dating, I never actually "disabled" my OKC account. As I have absolutely zero will power, this resulted in the casual exchange of messages with several people. Nothing led anywhere until recently when I had a date request for Thanksgiving weekend.
To start with, this guy's opening line was "why are you so awesome?"...how am I supposed to walk away from that? Flattery in a unique format will always catch my eye, particular when it's not "u r butiful". So we started chatting. He wasn't my usual type - he's bald and glass-half-empty, based on his profile. Despite my sarcasm and dash of cynicism, I tend to be fairly positive. Classic unicorns and rainbows type. But, I thought I should set aside my physical guidelines and try it out anyway.
We met for coffee in the afternoon the Saturday after Thanksgiving. First of all, this was my first ever sober online date. I was a little freaked out about it, but I pulled it together with my belly full of leftover turkey. I actually had a pretty good time. We chatted for a couple of hours over one cup of coffee, and while I certainly wasn't head over heels, I couldn't find anything wrong with him. (Sidebar, I'm very aware of just how terrible a perspective that is.)
He was good on paper: he owns his condo, works as an engineer for the government, and seemed to have a pretty tight relationship with his family. I wasn't particularly attracted to him, but I didn't dislike him either. There were a couple of bits of conversation that I wasn't too fond of - a slight repeat of the "I am not your Weight Watchers' support group" - but I've had worse.
So, when he texted me immediately after we parted ways, I was happy to agree to a second date. He texted me on that Sunday to schedule the date for Wednesday. He picked the place and set the time. All things that make me really happy. Sunday night, I couldn't have been more excited to go out with him.
And then Monday morning, I got a "Morning! It's not even 9am, and it's already an exciting Monday." For the record, I'm about 90% full this was supposed to be chock full of sarcarsm; however, I had one date with you, I'm not quite ready to be texting buddies. I was very slow to respond and truthfully didn't give him much to work with, hoping he would take the hint to leave me alone until Wednesday. He didn't catch it and proceeded to text me all day. All. Day. Monday evening, after my apparent failure to respond to two texts in a row, he asked me if I was home yet. This falls on the list of things that you, sir, do not need to know.
Tuesday morning - another text good morning. I completely ignored it until about 3pm, at which point, I said "busy day" and not much else. Please note, that even though I can be a bit of a pacifist and people-pleaser, I did not apologize for my lack of response. He immediately replied "Oh, no problem. I'm in training and thought I would bug you." Ugh.
As I said before, I'm an only child. I love my independence, and I've never been the girl that can jump into anything (let alone a relationship) with a total sense of abandon. Not ever going to be me. Toe in the water, and then I'm probably not going to fully submerge for at least 3 months. My mother hated taking me to the water park.
Wednesday morning rolls around, and I make myself a promise. Despite not really wanting to go on this date at this point, I swear that if he leaves me alone until the afternoon and then just confirms the date, I'll force myself to go. Too bad he decided at 8am to text me. I was driving to a seminar in the suburbs, so I waited until I got there to respond (PSA time - don't text and drive, at least on a smartphone; it's virtually impossible to watch the road). He wanted to push back the time to accommodate my schedule, so I agreed to an 8pm dinner instead of the originally planned 7:30pm. And I brushed him off with a "see you then" for the rest of the day.
All through my seminar, I was stressing out about this date. I didn't want to go, but I also felt bullied into going at this point. I waxed and waned for the better part of the panel discussion about whether I should cancel. Finally, at about 4pm, I decided that I couldn't sit through dinner. At least not tonight. Between an exhausting day of seminars and the traffic-infested drive that would be had on the way home, I simply wasn't up to playing nice. So, I claimed illness.
I'm not proud, and I'm aware that there are better excuses. We do what we have to do. I sent him a quick note that my seminar had just ended and I felt awful (frankly, all true...just not necessarily how he probably interpreted it). I told him that I would be worthless after the drive back to the city, and apologized, but said that I needed to cancel.
Within 5 minutes, I got back a "Are you sure? We could get something closer to the neighborhood and just chill together". Again, not wanting to endanger all drivers on I-90, I waited until I got home to respond. It's an hour drive in traffic, but apparently a twenty-minute commute would have been more than this kid could handle. Because within 15 minutes of the first text, I got one saying "flaking 3 hours prior to the date is pretty bad, I have to say."
Oooooookay. And he sealed the deal that I was not going to reschedule. One date, two hours, and he was clinging like a cotton skirt to tights. Whoa. I ignored it. I don't like confrontation, and I find it particularly useless with someone I will never encounter again. So, I left it alone.
Fast forward two hours later - another text. This one can be summarized as me = villain who toys with men. He chastised me and told me I was a terrible person. Okay, fine...think what you want. And I'll acquiesce that my behavior wasn't perfect - but I did plan to go out with him again originally. He just overwhelmed me with useless conversation. I was drowning in text messages.
I deleted his number and all the texts, and as I set my phone down, one last message came through. A lovely send off with my first and last name, title, and company that I work for. All followed by the phrase, "your Pinterest is a leaky faucet of information".
Apparently, someone can internet stalk. Big freakin' deal. I don't care who you are, I strongly recommend researching every date you go on. As you may know, I've had some bad luck with this, so I do think the more you know, the better. One minor caveat - PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW! Common courtesy demands that we all act completely oblivious of any information we learned through our internet travels. This guy, however, felt like he could use my name and job to scare me. And that, my friends, is truly crazy.
I won't pretend I'm all big and bad...I was definitely freaked. I still am half-expecting him to show up at my office at some point (note that he did not today). I don't like someone using who I am as if it is a weapon against me. I'm certainly no one famous, but I don't appreciate a total stranger acting like he has some kind of power to destroy my life. I can't imagine how celebrities feel. I may have to start carrying a giant umbrella a la Crazy Britney Spears to defend myself against this potential stalker.
As a result of this creepy encounter, I changed the privacy settings on my Pinterest (which, thanks for divulging your source), truly disabled my OKC account, and revisited the privacy settings on my Twitter page. I can officially say that I am taking time off from online dating for real now. My theory that everyone comes into our lives for a reason holds true - I really am meant to give this up for a while, and dragging my feet called for an intervention arriving on the express train from Crazy Town.
So, for my one loyal reader (here's looking at you, Mom), this is certainly not the end. Just a new beginning. I'm still dating, but we're going back to a simpler time. Let's see what I can pull off of a bar stool...
All The Single Ladies...
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Off the Wagon
Yep, I did it. I fell off the wagon again. I'm not talking about booze - I never got ON that wagon. This whole dating thing is like a full time job. I already have one of those, and I don't know that I'm necessarily in the market for another one that doesn't pay.
So this is where we are. Single, with cuddle season fast approaching. But, I have to say that I don't necessarily regret it or mind it. I'm still getting the occasional "U Beautiful, gurl" OKC message, so that can hold me over for now. Excuses excuses, I know. I think at this point in the year, it's not unreasonable for me to ask Santa for a boyfriend.
Next weekend my parents are in town for that dinner at Frontera. My mom had felt the need to add an optimistic fourth to that reservation (see: Dinner for Four), and I emailed her this week and told her my best friend was coming instead. I am a firm believer that you can't force anything. It has to come naturally, so maybe this looming meet-the-parents dinner prevented me from actually meeting anyone I liked? Maybe?
Either way, I'm going to take a dating detox and enjoy my life as it is. I've been hitting the gym (my biceps are rippling as I type right now) and focusing more on me. When I manage to be selfless enough to take the time to date someone, I'll let you know. For now, my short-lived experiment with online dating is on pause. For now.
So this is where we are. Single, with cuddle season fast approaching. But, I have to say that I don't necessarily regret it or mind it. I'm still getting the occasional "U Beautiful, gurl" OKC message, so that can hold me over for now. Excuses excuses, I know. I think at this point in the year, it's not unreasonable for me to ask Santa for a boyfriend.
Next weekend my parents are in town for that dinner at Frontera. My mom had felt the need to add an optimistic fourth to that reservation (see: Dinner for Four), and I emailed her this week and told her my best friend was coming instead. I am a firm believer that you can't force anything. It has to come naturally, so maybe this looming meet-the-parents dinner prevented me from actually meeting anyone I liked? Maybe?
Either way, I'm going to take a dating detox and enjoy my life as it is. I've been hitting the gym (my biceps are rippling as I type right now) and focusing more on me. When I manage to be selfless enough to take the time to date someone, I'll let you know. For now, my short-lived experiment with online dating is on pause. For now.
Friday, October 12, 2012
I hate the Beach Boys.
This was my week of dates. For whatever reason, the stars aligned and I had 2 planned back to back. I seem to have an amazing skill of planning these random influxes of men during my busiest work weeks, but I suppose there are worse things to complain about. So, here is the run down.
First, I met up with Linguini on Wednesday. We met at a typical happy hour spot in the Loop which was lovely. It was easy to get to, and I was already pretty familiar with the specials. He's a tall guy, 6'2", and when I strategically wear flats, I look short-ish. He is bearded (yes, I was excited) and not bad looking by any means. We chatted for about an hour and a half before I had to leave for bowling practice. Of course my bowling league takes precedence over my dating life - and I wonder why I'm single.
We talked for a solid 10 minutes on the merits of Holiday Inn, which is my all-time favorite Christmas movie. So, obviously I was more than a little smitten. I appreciated his confidence...he mentioned a couple times that we should hang out again, and it was the first ever first date where the guy told me I looked pretty. I appreciated the compliment as well.
Overall, I liked him. I haven't heard from him yet, but I get the feeling he's one of those "wait 3-days" guys. Which is fine, I'm not in a rush. And I'm also not obsessed and feeling like I absolutely have to see him again. I don't know if it's the stress from work or the date last night, but I'm not going to be heartbroken if he doesn't call. I am however, keeping my fingers crossed that he does.
Date number two was slightly more eventful. Not that we had a great time, but mainly because it was the worst date I have ever been on. It wasn't bad in the "I am totally going to stick this out because it's hilarious" way either. It was "I feel more awkward than when I got that bowl cut in 6th grade" bad.
Let's back up a minute. I do not like the Beach Boys. Specifically, I kind of hate Brian Wilson for getting out of bed. Here's the deal - can someone explain to me what is so goddamn special about California girls? We Midwestern girl are pretty friggin' awesome. And no, we do NOT want to be California girls. Seriously, Katy Perry. I should have remembered this hatred when I found out that my date was California-bred. Unfortunately, I pictured sexy surfer not loser stoner.
On paper, I thought this guy was perfect. Third year law student, Jewish, and pretty cute. I can't ask for much more than that. He picked a pretty classy bar in Logan Square (Scofflaw - solid gin drinks and cute staff), and despite meeting up after his class at 9:30pm, I was optimistic. To be fair, I had cancelled on him for a slightly earlier scheduled date on Tuesday, so I can't even complain about the time.
When I walked in, the doorman hit on me. This turned out to be the highlight of the night. My date had sat at the bar. No cozy table or booth (of which there were easily 10 available as the bar wraps around the entire corner), we were stuck doing the "where are you from" conversation in front of the bartender. Ooooookay.
Double bonus? Cali is a mumbler. So, the combination of the din of the bar plus the music plus not even having an intimate space means I can't hear anything. I lived next to the L tracks for 2 years, so my hearing is shit anyway. This was not shaping up to be a good experience.
I don't know where it went wrong, really. I think it was just awkward from the beginning. There wasn't a whole lot for us to talk about. I tried asking about his school, work, experience in Chicago...I got nothing back. Or, I couldn't hear what he said and awkwardly giggled or smiled with an ambiguous head nod.
He mentioned that his dad was an accountant, so he asked me a little bit about my job. I try not to talk about work, because I know it's not particularly exciting to my dates. After I did my usual 2 second overview, he started talking about his dad. Who went to prison. For embezzlement. For 5 years. He "just" got out about 10 years ago, and he was stripped of his license. But, yanno...he still practices. Ummmm, well, this certainly took a nasty turn. Not that I particularly judge people for time-served, but I do judge people who think that it's appropriate conversation on a get-to-know-you first date. Dear god, man!
I had already decided to have only one beverage when he decided to order a second and food. It was by far the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. Who orders food alone while on a date? I didn't even know what to do. So, when his sandwich came, I went to the bathroom to avoid sitting there.
The pauses between spurts of conversation were so long, it was deafeningly painful. He actually asked me if I like "different kinds of music". No, I only listen to songs with a steel drum.
I think the worst part was his innate need to tell pointless stories for far too long. He kept going on and on about one of his buddies jumping off some cliff in California and hitting all the rocks on the way down. I was over the story after that one sentence, but he easily spent 5 minutes on it (equivalent to 8% of our date as I didn't stay past 1 hour). I also could not interject my own experience or agree with his story, as he was a watermark talker.
What is a watermark talker? Think about a watermark. You usually have the option for behind the text or over the text. He was an over the text watermark. Meaning, he would keep talking as I was talking. And not back down and fade behind my text.
Like I said at the beginning of this diatribe, I'm not entirely sure why this date felt so terrible. He didn't grope me or verbally assault me. He wasn't outright rude or a dick. But that was far and away the worst date I have ever been on. So bad in fact that I didn't even bother with the check dance and left $10 on the bar for the gin drink. He oddly thanked me for that too. I seriously hope he didn't think I bought him dinner.
Oh, and true to Cali spirit - I'm about 90% sure he was stoned too.
First, I met up with Linguini on Wednesday. We met at a typical happy hour spot in the Loop which was lovely. It was easy to get to, and I was already pretty familiar with the specials. He's a tall guy, 6'2", and when I strategically wear flats, I look short-ish. He is bearded (yes, I was excited) and not bad looking by any means. We chatted for about an hour and a half before I had to leave for bowling practice. Of course my bowling league takes precedence over my dating life - and I wonder why I'm single.
We talked for a solid 10 minutes on the merits of Holiday Inn, which is my all-time favorite Christmas movie. So, obviously I was more than a little smitten. I appreciated his confidence...he mentioned a couple times that we should hang out again, and it was the first ever first date where the guy told me I looked pretty. I appreciated the compliment as well.
Overall, I liked him. I haven't heard from him yet, but I get the feeling he's one of those "wait 3-days" guys. Which is fine, I'm not in a rush. And I'm also not obsessed and feeling like I absolutely have to see him again. I don't know if it's the stress from work or the date last night, but I'm not going to be heartbroken if he doesn't call. I am however, keeping my fingers crossed that he does.
Date number two was slightly more eventful. Not that we had a great time, but mainly because it was the worst date I have ever been on. It wasn't bad in the "I am totally going to stick this out because it's hilarious" way either. It was "I feel more awkward than when I got that bowl cut in 6th grade" bad.
Let's back up a minute. I do not like the Beach Boys. Specifically, I kind of hate Brian Wilson for getting out of bed. Here's the deal - can someone explain to me what is so goddamn special about California girls? We Midwestern girl are pretty friggin' awesome. And no, we do NOT want to be California girls. Seriously, Katy Perry. I should have remembered this hatred when I found out that my date was California-bred. Unfortunately, I pictured sexy surfer not loser stoner.
On paper, I thought this guy was perfect. Third year law student, Jewish, and pretty cute. I can't ask for much more than that. He picked a pretty classy bar in Logan Square (Scofflaw - solid gin drinks and cute staff), and despite meeting up after his class at 9:30pm, I was optimistic. To be fair, I had cancelled on him for a slightly earlier scheduled date on Tuesday, so I can't even complain about the time.
When I walked in, the doorman hit on me. This turned out to be the highlight of the night. My date had sat at the bar. No cozy table or booth (of which there were easily 10 available as the bar wraps around the entire corner), we were stuck doing the "where are you from" conversation in front of the bartender. Ooooookay.
Double bonus? Cali is a mumbler. So, the combination of the din of the bar plus the music plus not even having an intimate space means I can't hear anything. I lived next to the L tracks for 2 years, so my hearing is shit anyway. This was not shaping up to be a good experience.
I don't know where it went wrong, really. I think it was just awkward from the beginning. There wasn't a whole lot for us to talk about. I tried asking about his school, work, experience in Chicago...I got nothing back. Or, I couldn't hear what he said and awkwardly giggled or smiled with an ambiguous head nod.
He mentioned that his dad was an accountant, so he asked me a little bit about my job. I try not to talk about work, because I know it's not particularly exciting to my dates. After I did my usual 2 second overview, he started talking about his dad. Who went to prison. For embezzlement. For 5 years. He "just" got out about 10 years ago, and he was stripped of his license. But, yanno...he still practices. Ummmm, well, this certainly took a nasty turn. Not that I particularly judge people for time-served, but I do judge people who think that it's appropriate conversation on a get-to-know-you first date. Dear god, man!
I had already decided to have only one beverage when he decided to order a second and food. It was by far the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. Who orders food alone while on a date? I didn't even know what to do. So, when his sandwich came, I went to the bathroom to avoid sitting there.
The pauses between spurts of conversation were so long, it was deafeningly painful. He actually asked me if I like "different kinds of music". No, I only listen to songs with a steel drum.
I think the worst part was his innate need to tell pointless stories for far too long. He kept going on and on about one of his buddies jumping off some cliff in California and hitting all the rocks on the way down. I was over the story after that one sentence, but he easily spent 5 minutes on it (equivalent to 8% of our date as I didn't stay past 1 hour). I also could not interject my own experience or agree with his story, as he was a watermark talker.
What is a watermark talker? Think about a watermark. You usually have the option for behind the text or over the text. He was an over the text watermark. Meaning, he would keep talking as I was talking. And not back down and fade behind my text.
Like I said at the beginning of this diatribe, I'm not entirely sure why this date felt so terrible. He didn't grope me or verbally assault me. He wasn't outright rude or a dick. But that was far and away the worst date I have ever been on. So bad in fact that I didn't even bother with the check dance and left $10 on the bar for the gin drink. He oddly thanked me for that too. I seriously hope he didn't think I bought him dinner.
Oh, and true to Cali spirit - I'm about 90% sure he was stoned too.
Monday, October 8, 2012
When It Rains, It Pours...
There is a theory that all you need to get a date is to have a date. I think it's a pretty legitimate thought. I went from not really talking to anybody on OKC to having 2 dates back to back this week. I haven't been particularly proactive on the website, but for whatever reason, it seems to have fallen out this way.
My date tomorrow is in law school. It seems that he's originally from the West Coast. I don't know too much more about him beyond that he lives in Logan Square. I am starting to prefer this lack of information - it makes conversation so much easier when you don't know everything about the person because you've been emailing for weeks. Oh wait...one more fact: he's Jewish.
I am slightly obsessed with the idea of dating someone Jewish (uh, you KNOW they're circumcised and no shared holidays...obviously we're going to my parents' for Christmas and Easter). My mom has also said to me on more than one occasion, "Why don't you date a nice Jewish boy?". I have a feeling we're on the same wavelength about the shared holidays. So, that was an exciting discovery today. Fingers crossed it goes well - at a minimum, we're checking out a pretty cool looking bar in Logan Square, so I'm optimistic I'll pull something useful out of it.
The second date is on Wednesday with Linguini. We've had mixed up schedules, and it looks like we're finally going to get it together on Wednesday for a happy hour. I like him too, but the idea of dating someone that lives in a western suburb (with a roommate, by the way) isn't something that I can stomach that easily.
Either way, be prepared for successive posts. This week should provide for quite a bit of writing.
My date tomorrow is in law school. It seems that he's originally from the West Coast. I don't know too much more about him beyond that he lives in Logan Square. I am starting to prefer this lack of information - it makes conversation so much easier when you don't know everything about the person because you've been emailing for weeks. Oh wait...one more fact: he's Jewish.
I am slightly obsessed with the idea of dating someone Jewish (uh, you KNOW they're circumcised and no shared holidays...obviously we're going to my parents' for Christmas and Easter). My mom has also said to me on more than one occasion, "Why don't you date a nice Jewish boy?". I have a feeling we're on the same wavelength about the shared holidays. So, that was an exciting discovery today. Fingers crossed it goes well - at a minimum, we're checking out a pretty cool looking bar in Logan Square, so I'm optimistic I'll pull something useful out of it.
The second date is on Wednesday with Linguini. We've had mixed up schedules, and it looks like we're finally going to get it together on Wednesday for a happy hour. I like him too, but the idea of dating someone that lives in a western suburb (with a roommate, by the way) isn't something that I can stomach that easily.
Either way, be prepared for successive posts. This week should provide for quite a bit of writing.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
How much is too much?
In the post "Let's Forget About the Past", I talk a little bit about some of my worsts. Ever since The Offender, I've been really hesitant (and rightfully so) about going into a relationship, or on a date even, without having enough back up information. For the record, I highly recommend googling someone before going out with them. But, then the question becomes - where is the line? At what point do I have too much information about someone to make a decent decision? I've discovered the baggage without getting to know the person. And god knows, no one's baggage is pretty.
I'm supposed to go out with Linguini (Linguist = Linguini, no?) on Wednesday next week. I hadn't really looked at his profile since we started communicating over a week ago. In a pre-slumber boredom, I decided to go through the "Questions" that OKC offers. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, you are supposed to answer questions on the site to determine who would be a good match for you. The answers are displayed publicly, and those people that are either freakishly nosey or depressingly loaded with free time (I'm the former, thank you very much) can go through them. And that is precisely what I did.
What I found was more information than I should know. Turns out that this guy felt the need to answer a lot of the sex questions (which is not unusual for men), and he's quite "experienced". Now I'm no prude or Virgin Mary, so I'm not exactly sure why this is freaking me out. It must be because he's displaying his dirty laundry on a website, but then I am too. I guess I found the line that determines what you want to know. I don't need to know about past experiences...especially before a first date. Good god.
I also discovered that he was previously married. This is clearly something that should be discussed later in the relationship...think like 4th/5th date. This is information I'd like to know before I sleep with you, but doesn't need to be on the table immediately. And here I am, ruining all the surprises for myself.
I'm still planning on going out with Linguini, but I'm a little less excited than I was initially. It's kind of terrible, isn't it? I managed to freak myself over things I shouldn't know and shouldn't even be concerned with at this point. Never again, Questions...your content is more than I can handle.
I'm supposed to go out with Linguini (Linguist = Linguini, no?) on Wednesday next week. I hadn't really looked at his profile since we started communicating over a week ago. In a pre-slumber boredom, I decided to go through the "Questions" that OKC offers. For those of you unfamiliar with the process, you are supposed to answer questions on the site to determine who would be a good match for you. The answers are displayed publicly, and those people that are either freakishly nosey or depressingly loaded with free time (I'm the former, thank you very much) can go through them. And that is precisely what I did.
What I found was more information than I should know. Turns out that this guy felt the need to answer a lot of the sex questions (which is not unusual for men), and he's quite "experienced". Now I'm no prude or Virgin Mary, so I'm not exactly sure why this is freaking me out. It must be because he's displaying his dirty laundry on a website, but then I am too. I guess I found the line that determines what you want to know. I don't need to know about past experiences...especially before a first date. Good god.
I also discovered that he was previously married. This is clearly something that should be discussed later in the relationship...think like 4th/5th date. This is information I'd like to know before I sleep with you, but doesn't need to be on the table immediately. And here I am, ruining all the surprises for myself.
I'm still planning on going out with Linguini, but I'm a little less excited than I was initially. It's kind of terrible, isn't it? I managed to freak myself over things I shouldn't know and shouldn't even be concerned with at this point. Never again, Questions...your content is more than I can handle.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Yes.
As I am sure that my reading public has been on the edge of their seats waiting for me to return to my perilous adventures in online dating, I am back to say that yes, I have resumed my quest. So, to give a brief update, here's where we currently stand:
I've been emailing with a teacher/education plan writer/linguist who asked me out for drinks. Pros - he seems smart and has a beard. Cons - he lives in St. Charles (but will work downtown starting next week, so maybe it's doable), and he was a little quick on the draw on the drink invite. Granted, I can't necessarily complain about that...I spent quite a few blog lines ticked about chatting for too long with no date offers. Either way, it seems like we'll get along well enough to survive a couple hours of beverages. I need to get back on my say-yes-to-everything mentality anyway. It got me to see a Ladyhawke show last night (fantastic, btw) so good things clearly come from "yes".
I heard back from a tall ginger I emailed too. I'm typically not into redheads, but for whatever reason something about this guy must have tickled my fancy 3 weeks ago. We'll see if he writes back to me - he did enjoy my use of the Oxford comma, so I feel like this could go well. I'm a sucker for nerd and intellectual humor.
Now for the fun part...the weird messages that I've received. The first one came from username BaaadBooooy6 or something eerily similar and bro-tastic. What did this douche want? Apparently, he and his girlfriend wanted to suck titties together. "That's it." I think I may have given them more credit than they deserved on the quotation punctuation. It was the most straightforward (and forward in general) message I think I've ever received. My prudish side was very uncomfortable while the rest of me wanted to call his girlfriend a slut. Knee jerk reaction - I'm not saying I'm proud.
And my favorite message - drumroll in your mind, please - "Will you want to be my friend?". Now it seems innocuous, but I want to go through my initial thought process and how this all ties up in a big fancy bow.
First of all, I read that like "Will you be my friend?". I thought it had to be one of two things. Either a) this person is a nutjob and is seriously asking someone with an internet dating profile to be his friend or b) he's got a good sense of humor and realizes how awkward this entire process is and thought it would be a cute introduction. Please believe that I'm aware of how farfetched scenario "b" is, but I'm still a romantic (and sad sap optimist) at heart.
Needless to say, it was clearly option "a". After scrolling through the profile (which used absolutely NO capital letters) and reading that he wanted a "good woman to move in with". I was curious enough to flip through pictures...
Let's flashback two years ago. My best friend and I are feeling stuck and decide to join a bowling league as individuals. We drag our other friend along and sign up hoping to meet some fun new people. On the first day, my friend K meets her team. They're all 20-somethings. Maybe not perfect, but a fun enough group to enjoy 3 games of bowling one night a week with. H and I were on the same team, which we weren't initially that excited about. How could we branch out? We ended up being thrilled as the two other members of our team consisted of a Middle-Eastern man in his 40's who wore a lot of flannel and carried a beeper and a 20-something bowling aficionado who qualified for the Special Olympics. Yes...to put it in the worst slurs possible, it was us, a terrorist, and the poster boy for special education.
Back to present, who is the person that wants to be my friend? Why, it's Mikey from bowling! The kid who road the short bus and bowled obsessively yet still managed to not be very good. Yes, there really are mentally challenged people on OKC. Part of me wants to report him and prevent this from happening, but a bigger part of me feels like he deserves to find someone too. So for now, just keep watch for Mikey. If his #1 interest is bowling, I wouldn't recommend responding.
I've been emailing with a teacher/education plan writer/linguist who asked me out for drinks. Pros - he seems smart and has a beard. Cons - he lives in St. Charles (but will work downtown starting next week, so maybe it's doable), and he was a little quick on the draw on the drink invite. Granted, I can't necessarily complain about that...I spent quite a few blog lines ticked about chatting for too long with no date offers. Either way, it seems like we'll get along well enough to survive a couple hours of beverages. I need to get back on my say-yes-to-everything mentality anyway. It got me to see a Ladyhawke show last night (fantastic, btw) so good things clearly come from "yes".
I heard back from a tall ginger I emailed too. I'm typically not into redheads, but for whatever reason something about this guy must have tickled my fancy 3 weeks ago. We'll see if he writes back to me - he did enjoy my use of the Oxford comma, so I feel like this could go well. I'm a sucker for nerd and intellectual humor.
Now for the fun part...the weird messages that I've received. The first one came from username BaaadBooooy6 or something eerily similar and bro-tastic. What did this douche want? Apparently, he and his girlfriend wanted to suck titties together. "That's it." I think I may have given them more credit than they deserved on the quotation punctuation. It was the most straightforward (and forward in general) message I think I've ever received. My prudish side was very uncomfortable while the rest of me wanted to call his girlfriend a slut. Knee jerk reaction - I'm not saying I'm proud.
And my favorite message - drumroll in your mind, please - "Will you want to be my friend?". Now it seems innocuous, but I want to go through my initial thought process and how this all ties up in a big fancy bow.
First of all, I read that like "Will you be my friend?". I thought it had to be one of two things. Either a) this person is a nutjob and is seriously asking someone with an internet dating profile to be his friend or b) he's got a good sense of humor and realizes how awkward this entire process is and thought it would be a cute introduction. Please believe that I'm aware of how farfetched scenario "b" is, but I'm still a romantic (and sad sap optimist) at heart.
Needless to say, it was clearly option "a". After scrolling through the profile (which used absolutely NO capital letters) and reading that he wanted a "good woman to move in with". I was curious enough to flip through pictures...
Let's flashback two years ago. My best friend and I are feeling stuck and decide to join a bowling league as individuals. We drag our other friend along and sign up hoping to meet some fun new people. On the first day, my friend K meets her team. They're all 20-somethings. Maybe not perfect, but a fun enough group to enjoy 3 games of bowling one night a week with. H and I were on the same team, which we weren't initially that excited about. How could we branch out? We ended up being thrilled as the two other members of our team consisted of a Middle-Eastern man in his 40's who wore a lot of flannel and carried a beeper and a 20-something bowling aficionado who qualified for the Special Olympics. Yes...to put it in the worst slurs possible, it was us, a terrorist, and the poster boy for special education.
Back to present, who is the person that wants to be my friend? Why, it's Mikey from bowling! The kid who road the short bus and bowled obsessively yet still managed to not be very good. Yes, there really are mentally challenged people on OKC. Part of me wants to report him and prevent this from happening, but a bigger part of me feels like he deserves to find someone too. So for now, just keep watch for Mikey. If his #1 interest is bowling, I wouldn't recommend responding.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Delayed Response?
So, I'm well aware that I've been pretty lax about posting these past few weeks. I've been in the midst of a hunt for a condo, and work has started to consume my life (as it will through October 15th). And it's inexcusable.
In all fairness though, I haven't had any interesting developments lately either. All of my previous contacts have fallen off the face of the earth. Which, while I'm disappointed to some extent, I wasn't exactly over the moon about anybody either.
The latest OKC development is that I seem to be on the short list for Indians and men under 5'9". This has made for some fairly interesting opening messages. I think one of the worst parts of this is getting a message from someone, being entertained, and then realizing they are 5'6".
I have nothing against short guys...in fact, I think most of them are the nicest and best in bed. But, I'm 5'9" (minimum) and I would prefer not to be an Amazon in the relationship. I'm not sure what I can do about it, and I'm certainly not going to be the bitchy girl that writes "you must be this tall to ride this ride" on her profile. But, I've been dealing with a fair amount of disappointment lately.
As far as the Indian faction, I think I'm going to tone down on the tanning.
I need to resume my message assault too. I've been so consumed with everything else in my life that this has taken a bit of a backseat. No one to blame but myself if I can't find someone to do the Halloween couples costume with...
In all fairness though, I haven't had any interesting developments lately either. All of my previous contacts have fallen off the face of the earth. Which, while I'm disappointed to some extent, I wasn't exactly over the moon about anybody either.
The latest OKC development is that I seem to be on the short list for Indians and men under 5'9". This has made for some fairly interesting opening messages. I think one of the worst parts of this is getting a message from someone, being entertained, and then realizing they are 5'6".
I have nothing against short guys...in fact, I think most of them are the nicest and best in bed. But, I'm 5'9" (minimum) and I would prefer not to be an Amazon in the relationship. I'm not sure what I can do about it, and I'm certainly not going to be the bitchy girl that writes "you must be this tall to ride this ride" on her profile. But, I've been dealing with a fair amount of disappointment lately.
As far as the Indian faction, I think I'm going to tone down on the tanning.
I need to resume my message assault too. I've been so consumed with everything else in my life that this has taken a bit of a backseat. No one to blame but myself if I can't find someone to do the Halloween couples costume with...
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Let's Forget About the Past
There is no one in this world without baggage. Period. Whether it's your parents' fucked up situation or your own shitty choices, we all end up wheeling around a carry-on sized bag at a minimum. If you need to pack liquids, you're going to be checking that sucker.
I spent quite a bit of time analyzing some past relationships and decisions. I think we all want to be able to pinpoint the moment where "it all went awry", but we can't. Life is not a tree with one bad branch that needs cutting; it's a mosaic of broken tile pieces that we glue together.
Detroit Cobras sing an amazing song called "Let's Forget About the Past". Youtube let me down though, so this is "It's Raining". Equally depressing and beautiful, just not quite as fitting. I went through the search though, so you should just click and listen anyway.
So, in an effort to cleanse...here are my worsts:
1) The College Sweetheart who in all actually was not so sweet. CS was a liar and a manipulator that I stuck with for 5 years (not concurrent) despite knowing better after Year 1. I was cheated on, broken down, and all but isolated. But CS taught me to be outgoing (as I had to fight for attention) and gave me more self-confidence than I had before, being the typical bookworm/nerd that I was in high school. Probably the best part of that relationship is CS still wants to date me and gets insanely awkward at those random events when we run into each other. It's amusing and pathetic at the same time - which is the best way to view an ex you lost years to.
2) Friend of a Friend was actually a coworker of my best friend's boyfriend. Sounds like a match made in heaven right? Well, FOF was 11 years my senior in age and about 5 years my junior in maturity. Quite the disparity. My favorite quote was "I just can't tell when you're serious and when you're kidding." To which I responded "You're an idiot" with a shit-eating grin. We dated for about 2 months and then I told him to piss off on NYE and took home another guy. It sounds crueler than it was...I tried to be nice, but he kept pressing me about going home with him. We dated for 2 months, I need you to calm down on the possessiveness.
3) The Offender started out as probably the most organic relationship I'd ever had. We met on NYE (and no, this was not the stranger from FOF), and had a connection, supposedly. TO was all up in my business, and called or texted me EVERY DAY - I have subsequently learned to take this as a warning sign - and seemed really interested in dating me. And kept asking me to be serious. And once I finally acquiesced? He ghosted. Straight up disappeared and wouldn't return my calls/texts. The reason for the nickname came about because I assumed he was dead. Who would ignore me? I'm fantastic - he must have died. Upon a full google search of his name (middle initial included), I discovered he was a sex offender. Registered, picture on the internet, whole nine yards. I am now convinced he did me a favor. Now I am convinced...at the time, I felt the need to send him a ranting email (to his work...BOOM) calling him out on it.
My past relationships don't define me. I think ultimately I just need to learn from them and not make the same mistakes. I'm a lot quicker to pull the plug (which may or may not be a good thing) and I don't tolerate idiocy anymore. If you don't get something out of every relationship you're in, what's the point? TO got me to go get on birth control (THANK GOD), FOF let me be the asshole in a relationship (much needed after CS), and countless other dates in between inspired new bands to love, shows to watch, and taught me the various signs of a potential stalker. Perfect example - Veteran taught me that Sprecher makes real beer and not just root beer. It's pretty delicious too.
My point in all this? No matter how bad the situation may be, at the end of the day everyone comes into our lives for a reason. It may not be our reason, but there is one in there somewhere. Otherwise, this whole thing is just one big cluster fuck, so we kind of have to believe that, right?
I spent quite a bit of time analyzing some past relationships and decisions. I think we all want to be able to pinpoint the moment where "it all went awry", but we can't. Life is not a tree with one bad branch that needs cutting; it's a mosaic of broken tile pieces that we glue together.
Detroit Cobras sing an amazing song called "Let's Forget About the Past". Youtube let me down though, so this is "It's Raining". Equally depressing and beautiful, just not quite as fitting. I went through the search though, so you should just click and listen anyway.
So, in an effort to cleanse...here are my worsts:
1) The College Sweetheart who in all actually was not so sweet. CS was a liar and a manipulator that I stuck with for 5 years (not concurrent) despite knowing better after Year 1. I was cheated on, broken down, and all but isolated. But CS taught me to be outgoing (as I had to fight for attention) and gave me more self-confidence than I had before, being the typical bookworm/nerd that I was in high school. Probably the best part of that relationship is CS still wants to date me and gets insanely awkward at those random events when we run into each other. It's amusing and pathetic at the same time - which is the best way to view an ex you lost years to.
2) Friend of a Friend was actually a coworker of my best friend's boyfriend. Sounds like a match made in heaven right? Well, FOF was 11 years my senior in age and about 5 years my junior in maturity. Quite the disparity. My favorite quote was "I just can't tell when you're serious and when you're kidding." To which I responded "You're an idiot" with a shit-eating grin. We dated for about 2 months and then I told him to piss off on NYE and took home another guy. It sounds crueler than it was...I tried to be nice, but he kept pressing me about going home with him. We dated for 2 months, I need you to calm down on the possessiveness.
3) The Offender started out as probably the most organic relationship I'd ever had. We met on NYE (and no, this was not the stranger from FOF), and had a connection, supposedly. TO was all up in my business, and called or texted me EVERY DAY - I have subsequently learned to take this as a warning sign - and seemed really interested in dating me. And kept asking me to be serious. And once I finally acquiesced? He ghosted. Straight up disappeared and wouldn't return my calls/texts. The reason for the nickname came about because I assumed he was dead. Who would ignore me? I'm fantastic - he must have died. Upon a full google search of his name (middle initial included), I discovered he was a sex offender. Registered, picture on the internet, whole nine yards. I am now convinced he did me a favor. Now I am convinced...at the time, I felt the need to send him a ranting email (to his work...BOOM) calling him out on it.
My past relationships don't define me. I think ultimately I just need to learn from them and not make the same mistakes. I'm a lot quicker to pull the plug (which may or may not be a good thing) and I don't tolerate idiocy anymore. If you don't get something out of every relationship you're in, what's the point? TO got me to go get on birth control (THANK GOD), FOF let me be the asshole in a relationship (much needed after CS), and countless other dates in between inspired new bands to love, shows to watch, and taught me the various signs of a potential stalker. Perfect example - Veteran taught me that Sprecher makes real beer and not just root beer. It's pretty delicious too.
My point in all this? No matter how bad the situation may be, at the end of the day everyone comes into our lives for a reason. It may not be our reason, but there is one in there somewhere. Otherwise, this whole thing is just one big cluster fuck, so we kind of have to believe that, right?
Monday, August 20, 2012
Groundhog Day
I had Date #2 with the Veteran on Friday night. We went to Pequod's (amazing deep dish pizza, by the way - highly recommend) with an open evening after. We had talked about going to see a movie or karaoke but decided to make final evening plans after dinner. I'm so glad we did.
I was running a little late, and honestly, not particularly feeling like being on a date at all. But, I did want to see him again as we had such a good time on the first date. So, I pushed through and showed up only 10 minutes late. He was there with a table and a beer.
I wasn't all butterflies when I saw him, and my attraction from Date #1 was definitely increased by the amount of beer I had consumed, but I wasn't disappointed either. It was just kind of a "meh" feeling. That same blandness seemed to inspire the rest of the date.
We had normal conversation, and discussed our weeks and plans for the weekend. If I could pinpoint when it all went down hill, I would have to say it was when we started discussing his new work schedule. The guy is going to work 2pm-12am with Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off. I have never heard of a worse schedule. And I guess, it taught me something about myself.
I always thought I wasn't particularly concerned about success or drive in another person. I don't consider myself particularly ambitious - I'm not willing to do shady things to make it to the top and I don't play politics very well - so I never thought of that as something that I necessarily wanted in someone else. But after this date, I don't necessarily I think I can date someone that doesn't work normal working hours and doesn't like what they do.
I could probably handle one or the other...like a chef who is passionate about their work but has shit hours or someone with a 9-5 sales job that isn't particularly fond of it. I just don't want to feel guilty about going to bed at 11pm and you buying me dinner. And I know for SURE that I would have with this guy.
So, that was my big negative. But, wait...like a bad infomercial, there's more. Two things that really kind of irritated me. First, I don't think Vet was truthful when he said that he wasn't pursuing acting. Mainly because he was driving 7 hour (each way) to go do a murder mystery dinner theater show this weekend. One show, 14 hours of driving. Clearly, this is something that is still important to you. And the second thing...we talked about mostly the same topics on the second date as we did on the first date.
As Yogi Berra would say, it's like deja vu all over again. I've had this happen on another second date too. It's like you run out of mundane, first layer things to talk about and neither person wants to break that second level. I did try - I managed to drag out of him that he doesn't really see his brothers and his mother won't come visit him because she can't drive on the highway (from rural Iowa and can't handle the highway? This will be a pain in the ass mother in law to someone).But beyond that, we continued to discuss TV shows and movies. Honestly, our dissertation on feta cheese last go around was more interesting than this entire date.
Overall, it was very bland. And I'm uninterested. I haven't heard from him since, and I'm really hoping that I don't. I'd rather not have to do an awkward rejection or just ignore him. I think he got the idea when I dashed out of the car at the end instead of subjecting myself to a good night kiss.
No special new prospects on the forefront either. I need to resume my message assault and see where that gets me. In the mean time, I may opt for a sloppy drunken makeout sesh at some point this weekend. We'll where that gets me. :)
I was running a little late, and honestly, not particularly feeling like being on a date at all. But, I did want to see him again as we had such a good time on the first date. So, I pushed through and showed up only 10 minutes late. He was there with a table and a beer.
I wasn't all butterflies when I saw him, and my attraction from Date #1 was definitely increased by the amount of beer I had consumed, but I wasn't disappointed either. It was just kind of a "meh" feeling. That same blandness seemed to inspire the rest of the date.
We had normal conversation, and discussed our weeks and plans for the weekend. If I could pinpoint when it all went down hill, I would have to say it was when we started discussing his new work schedule. The guy is going to work 2pm-12am with Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday off. I have never heard of a worse schedule. And I guess, it taught me something about myself.
I always thought I wasn't particularly concerned about success or drive in another person. I don't consider myself particularly ambitious - I'm not willing to do shady things to make it to the top and I don't play politics very well - so I never thought of that as something that I necessarily wanted in someone else. But after this date, I don't necessarily I think I can date someone that doesn't work normal working hours and doesn't like what they do.
I could probably handle one or the other...like a chef who is passionate about their work but has shit hours or someone with a 9-5 sales job that isn't particularly fond of it. I just don't want to feel guilty about going to bed at 11pm and you buying me dinner. And I know for SURE that I would have with this guy.
So, that was my big negative. But, wait...like a bad infomercial, there's more. Two things that really kind of irritated me. First, I don't think Vet was truthful when he said that he wasn't pursuing acting. Mainly because he was driving 7 hour (each way) to go do a murder mystery dinner theater show this weekend. One show, 14 hours of driving. Clearly, this is something that is still important to you. And the second thing...we talked about mostly the same topics on the second date as we did on the first date.
As Yogi Berra would say, it's like deja vu all over again. I've had this happen on another second date too. It's like you run out of mundane, first layer things to talk about and neither person wants to break that second level. I did try - I managed to drag out of him that he doesn't really see his brothers and his mother won't come visit him because she can't drive on the highway (from rural Iowa and can't handle the highway? This will be a pain in the ass mother in law to someone).But beyond that, we continued to discuss TV shows and movies. Honestly, our dissertation on feta cheese last go around was more interesting than this entire date.
Overall, it was very bland. And I'm uninterested. I haven't heard from him since, and I'm really hoping that I don't. I'd rather not have to do an awkward rejection or just ignore him. I think he got the idea when I dashed out of the car at the end instead of subjecting myself to a good night kiss.
No special new prospects on the forefront either. I need to resume my message assault and see where that gets me. In the mean time, I may opt for a sloppy drunken makeout sesh at some point this weekend. We'll where that gets me. :)
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Afternoon Distraction - Message Update
I received the following today, and it entertained me to no end. As a side note, I had to say it outloud to understand what half of it meant. And no, I'm not planning on responding...
I am not your Weight Watchers support group.
I had my date with Junior last night. After a failed attempt on Monday (uh, it was Monday and there was rain, need I say more?), we rescheduled for late evening cocktails at one of my favorite dive bars conveniently located 3 blocks from my apartment.
My initial impression was that Junior was very much my type. Tall, bearded and light-eyed, this seemed fairly promising. I even successfully fought off my desire to call him "kid". Unfortunately, it quickly downgraded.
First, I'm a boozer...always have been, always will be. And I'm comfortable with that, and I certainly don't mind talking about it. But let me be clear - drinking stories and preferences should not make up 75% of the conversation. I wish I was kidding...unfortunately, Junior preferred to talk about getting thrown out of bars and his friend passing out in a bath tub instead of fun things like music preference and recent trips.
As if that wasn't bad enough, the cocktail convo parlayed into a discussion about my date's weight. How, you may ask, is that even possible? Because he recently started doing Atkins and now can't drink beer. He proceeded to detail his weight fluctuations over the past 8 years or so. I understand that I am not someone you look at and say "oh, she's naturally got such a great metabolism", but that doesn't mean I want to compare weightloss notes with you WHILE ON A DATE either. I don't think I've ever been that unattracted to man. I legitimately was grimacing at the bar just contemplating that he may try for a good night kiss (which he didn't, thank god). Yick.
Another interesting topic? His collection of prior girlfriends. This guy took almost every opportunity to mention that he has dated other women in the past. It felt so forced that I am fairly certain he's never seriously dated anyone.
And as far as my hypothesis that men are a minimum of 2 years younger in maturity, I still think that holds true. I felt very much like I was on a date with a college student despite the fact that he was 25. It amazes me how women can date 10-15 years younger. I couldn't handle it...clearly, I'm not cut out for the cougar life.
I do feel bad complaining about the date. In truth, he was very sweet and we were able to have a conversation (albeit not on any topics I cared to discuss). I hope he finds someone that works for him...but it will definitely not be me. I think he might be hoping that it is though, which means I'll get to do the awkward rejection text. Here's hoping he picked up on my lack of interest.
Regarding my other "suitors"...Veteran called on Saturday and asked me out for Friday. I had to rearrange my schedule (condo shopping, yes!), but told him I would let him know if that worked for me. Upon texting him that I did in fact clear up my schedule, I have heard nothing back. So, who knows...although based on the first experience, it seems like this kid is a last minute kind of guy. I also heard back from the Professor and the Cyclist too. Professor has been traveling (how sophisticated and worldly!) and the Cyclist has been...uh...cycling? We'll see if either of these kids (c'mon, I held my tongue all night...I needed that) follow through.
My initial impression was that Junior was very much my type. Tall, bearded and light-eyed, this seemed fairly promising. I even successfully fought off my desire to call him "kid". Unfortunately, it quickly downgraded.
First, I'm a boozer...always have been, always will be. And I'm comfortable with that, and I certainly don't mind talking about it. But let me be clear - drinking stories and preferences should not make up 75% of the conversation. I wish I was kidding...unfortunately, Junior preferred to talk about getting thrown out of bars and his friend passing out in a bath tub instead of fun things like music preference and recent trips.
As if that wasn't bad enough, the cocktail convo parlayed into a discussion about my date's weight. How, you may ask, is that even possible? Because he recently started doing Atkins and now can't drink beer. He proceeded to detail his weight fluctuations over the past 8 years or so. I understand that I am not someone you look at and say "oh, she's naturally got such a great metabolism", but that doesn't mean I want to compare weightloss notes with you WHILE ON A DATE either. I don't think I've ever been that unattracted to man. I legitimately was grimacing at the bar just contemplating that he may try for a good night kiss (which he didn't, thank god). Yick.
Another interesting topic? His collection of prior girlfriends. This guy took almost every opportunity to mention that he has dated other women in the past. It felt so forced that I am fairly certain he's never seriously dated anyone.
And as far as my hypothesis that men are a minimum of 2 years younger in maturity, I still think that holds true. I felt very much like I was on a date with a college student despite the fact that he was 25. It amazes me how women can date 10-15 years younger. I couldn't handle it...clearly, I'm not cut out for the cougar life.
I do feel bad complaining about the date. In truth, he was very sweet and we were able to have a conversation (albeit not on any topics I cared to discuss). I hope he finds someone that works for him...but it will definitely not be me. I think he might be hoping that it is though, which means I'll get to do the awkward rejection text. Here's hoping he picked up on my lack of interest.
Regarding my other "suitors"...Veteran called on Saturday and asked me out for Friday. I had to rearrange my schedule (condo shopping, yes!), but told him I would let him know if that worked for me. Upon texting him that I did in fact clear up my schedule, I have heard nothing back. So, who knows...although based on the first experience, it seems like this kid is a last minute kind of guy. I also heard back from the Professor and the Cyclist too. Professor has been traveling (how sophisticated and worldly!) and the Cyclist has been...uh...cycling? We'll see if either of these kids (c'mon, I held my tongue all night...I needed that) follow through.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Feta Cheese and Harrison Ford
I officially had my first OKC date (for this go around) last night. I know it seemed as if it might not be happening as The Veteran waited until about 2pm to text me as to where we were meeting, but I'm trying my best to not be the over-planning female that I tend to be. So we met at a local bar with a $2.50 Miller Lite draft special and $2.50 tacos. I was honestly in heaven - Schoolyard has phenomenal tacos.
I was amazingly on time...like sickeningly on-the-dot on time. And of course, Vet was late. Men always give women such a hard time about these things, but I think they are just as bad (same goes for PMSing too). And obviously, I teased him about putting on his makeup and getting all dolled up for the date. I couldn't help it.
We had about 3 beers before deciding it would probably be a good idea to eat something. We each got a couple of tacos and continued discussing anything and everything between feta cheese, karaoke, Harrison Ford, fantasy football, and improv people. Honestly, it was one of the best dates I've had in a long time.
He is a theater major, but not actively pursuing acting. He works in customer service for an internet-based company, but is one of the most senior people in the department. I don't know - there were a few "lifestyle" choices that I had been apprehensive about before the date. I'm still not sure that they are things I can deal with, but he definitely made me feel really comfortable. He picked up the bill without hesitation, and even offered me a ride home (which I graciously declined - I'm not Miss Daisy over here).
My one hang up right now is that he didn't really ask me any questions. I tend to lead conversations because I hate awkward silences, and I definitely did that a couple of times. I asked about siblings, but never got a follow up question, so I had the great pride to have to throw out there that I'm an only child. He did follow up with, "how was that for you?" People always kill me with those questions. Uh, good? How was having 2 siblings for you? But, it was a first date, and people are usually nervous. I definitely like him (thanks for the 95% match percentage, OKC. You done good).
We got along swimmingly, and I'm optimistic about seeing Vet again. He texted me today that he's going to call me tomorrow to try to set up another hang out. Whoot! I'm looking forward to it.
I also just made a date with Junior at a local pub for Monday too. As George Costanza would say, I'm back, baby!
I was amazingly on time...like sickeningly on-the-dot on time. And of course, Vet was late. Men always give women such a hard time about these things, but I think they are just as bad (same goes for PMSing too). And obviously, I teased him about putting on his makeup and getting all dolled up for the date. I couldn't help it.
We had about 3 beers before deciding it would probably be a good idea to eat something. We each got a couple of tacos and continued discussing anything and everything between feta cheese, karaoke, Harrison Ford, fantasy football, and improv people. Honestly, it was one of the best dates I've had in a long time.
He is a theater major, but not actively pursuing acting. He works in customer service for an internet-based company, but is one of the most senior people in the department. I don't know - there were a few "lifestyle" choices that I had been apprehensive about before the date. I'm still not sure that they are things I can deal with, but he definitely made me feel really comfortable. He picked up the bill without hesitation, and even offered me a ride home (which I graciously declined - I'm not Miss Daisy over here).
My one hang up right now is that he didn't really ask me any questions. I tend to lead conversations because I hate awkward silences, and I definitely did that a couple of times. I asked about siblings, but never got a follow up question, so I had the great pride to have to throw out there that I'm an only child. He did follow up with, "how was that for you?" People always kill me with those questions. Uh, good? How was having 2 siblings for you? But, it was a first date, and people are usually nervous. I definitely like him (thanks for the 95% match percentage, OKC. You done good).
We got along swimmingly, and I'm optimistic about seeing Vet again. He texted me today that he's going to call me tomorrow to try to set up another hang out. Whoot! I'm looking forward to it.
I also just made a date with Junior at a local pub for Monday too. As George Costanza would say, I'm back, baby!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Disappearing Acts
I seem to have run into a bit of bad luck. First, Meatloaf and the Professor are officially ignoring my emails. Not that I've sent follow ups or anything (let's be serious, no one needs to be that clingy on online dating), but they've been online and ignored my message. It's disappointing. Not so much for the Professor who I wasn't all that excited about anyway (he had cats, remember?), but Meatloaf seemed promising. Oh well, a bunch of ups and downs, I guess.
Continuing my rainy day trend, the date that I had scheduled with The Veteran tonight seems like it may not be happening. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday, and while I normally enjoy my space, we hadn't set up a time or a place for this mystery date. All I know is that he said "dinner". Several disappearances in one day - hopefully I've met my quota for this month.
To break up this depressing mood, I did get asked out for drinks by Junior. I am excited about it, and hopefully we can make it work with our schedules for tomorrow. I am heading to a White Sox game for Country Night and fireworks that evening, but utilizing my half-day Friday and grabbing cocktails with a boy would be a nice cap to this weekend.
One final note on disappearing acts - I would love for about 10-15lbs to disappear. So, I'm working on that too. No better way to find someone than to be happy with yourself. So here's hoping.
Continuing my rainy day trend, the date that I had scheduled with The Veteran tonight seems like it may not be happening. I haven't heard from him since Tuesday, and while I normally enjoy my space, we hadn't set up a time or a place for this mystery date. All I know is that he said "dinner". Several disappearances in one day - hopefully I've met my quota for this month.
To break up this depressing mood, I did get asked out for drinks by Junior. I am excited about it, and hopefully we can make it work with our schedules for tomorrow. I am heading to a White Sox game for Country Night and fireworks that evening, but utilizing my half-day Friday and grabbing cocktails with a boy would be a nice cap to this weekend.
One final note on disappearing acts - I would love for about 10-15lbs to disappear. So, I'm working on that too. No better way to find someone than to be happy with yourself. So here's hoping.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Defining the Age Gap
I officially have a date tomorrow with The Veteran. We're going out to dinner, which is a little intense for a first date. I'm much more of a drink girl, personally. I'm looking forward to it though - I like him well enough, and it's about time I actually went out with someone. All this emailing is killing my witty date banter. He's not much of a texter though, which is probably good. I'm fairly terrible at it, so it's kind of saving me from myself. I'm not sure yet where we'll be heading, but he lives in North Center, so I'm hoping it's a good spot in between us. Fingers crossed it's not Nick's Uptown - I swear to god I would cancel on the spot.
In other news, I started emailing with a 25 year old. Now, on the surface, I don't think a 2 year age difference is even worth mentioning in conversation. Add to it that this kid (see, and my problem starts) just bought a condo in North Center and has lived in Chicago for 7 years, and it seems like he's far more put together than I am. But I have a theory...
Men are inherently at least 2 years behind women in maturity. It's a fact...and that 2 year position is a minimum. I've dealt with a variety of men from all kinds of social classes and situations, and it seems to be a pretty standard assumption that you take their age, subtract two, and come up with how old they act. Sometimes you have to take 5-7 years, but let's not make this depressing. So while Junior (yes, he's officially earned a nickname) may only be 2 legitimate years younger than me, he's actually 4 maturity years. Which means, I may be going out with a 23 year old. Yikes.
Now, as I said, he seems to have his shit together, and I'm not writing him off just because of his age. However, I am beyond curious if I'm right. I mean, all the facts seem to be pointing to the fact that he's very mature and adult-like. So, here's hoping. Maybe I can turn out to be a bit of a puma. ReeaAAarrr.
I'm still emailing with Meatloaf, but he went on a vacation last weekend and I haven't heard from him yet. He's been a bit of a slow responder already, but I really hope he doesn't fall off the radar. And The Professor is still in the mix as well...but my interest is severely waning, which is not a good sign. I also picked up another one...The Cyclist, but he seems to be having inadequacy issues already, and I really just don't understand that or find it remotely attractive. Onwards and upwards.
In other news, I started emailing with a 25 year old. Now, on the surface, I don't think a 2 year age difference is even worth mentioning in conversation. Add to it that this kid (see, and my problem starts) just bought a condo in North Center and has lived in Chicago for 7 years, and it seems like he's far more put together than I am. But I have a theory...
Men are inherently at least 2 years behind women in maturity. It's a fact...and that 2 year position is a minimum. I've dealt with a variety of men from all kinds of social classes and situations, and it seems to be a pretty standard assumption that you take their age, subtract two, and come up with how old they act. Sometimes you have to take 5-7 years, but let's not make this depressing. So while Junior (yes, he's officially earned a nickname) may only be 2 legitimate years younger than me, he's actually 4 maturity years. Which means, I may be going out with a 23 year old. Yikes.
Now, as I said, he seems to have his shit together, and I'm not writing him off just because of his age. However, I am beyond curious if I'm right. I mean, all the facts seem to be pointing to the fact that he's very mature and adult-like. So, here's hoping. Maybe I can turn out to be a bit of a puma. ReeaAAarrr.
I'm still emailing with Meatloaf, but he went on a vacation last weekend and I haven't heard from him yet. He's been a bit of a slow responder already, but I really hope he doesn't fall off the radar. And The Professor is still in the mix as well...but my interest is severely waning, which is not a good sign. I also picked up another one...The Cyclist, but he seems to be having inadequacy issues already, and I really just don't understand that or find it remotely attractive. Onwards and upwards.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Weekend Recap
I survived Lollapalooza and my mother's visit this weekend. I consider that a victory. I also had the bonus of a few texts and an invite for cocktails from The Veteran. I'm still writing with The Professor and Meatloaf, so I'm hoping one of those will pan out as well.
I also decided to kick overzealous texting guy to the curb. He legitimately texted me every day since he received my phone number. I'm the opposite of clingy, and if you haven't even met me yet, this behavior is more than unacceptable. I got the stalker vibe, and I backed off. I may be completely wrong, and he may be totally normal, but either way, I'm not in the mood to babysit. So, out he goes.
I had slowed down my messaging assault slightly since I first started this project. I'm setting a goal for myself to send at least 5 new messages a week. I sent one yesterday and got a decent response. Here's hoping this keeps up. I'd like to have a couple dates here in the next 2 weeks. My leagues are slowing down, and I need a new sport to keep me occupied. Dating it is!
On a side note, I got hit on by a drunk Hispanic guy on the bus ride home from Lolla who told me I was the most beautiful...slur slur slurrrrrrrr. Of course he got off the bus at the same stop I did. Luckily I was not impaired in the least, and he didn't try to follow me or anything. The bus driver waited to make sure I made it up the street okay. Seriously - this is the reason why I'm online dating. These are the types of people that I draw in real life. I would love to know what people see in me that they a) think it's okay to harrass me on a bus with tales of my beauty and b) won't talk to me if they have an ounce of normality. One day I'll figure it out - until then, we keep scamming on profiles on OKC. Full speed ahead!
I also decided to kick overzealous texting guy to the curb. He legitimately texted me every day since he received my phone number. I'm the opposite of clingy, and if you haven't even met me yet, this behavior is more than unacceptable. I got the stalker vibe, and I backed off. I may be completely wrong, and he may be totally normal, but either way, I'm not in the mood to babysit. So, out he goes.
I had slowed down my messaging assault slightly since I first started this project. I'm setting a goal for myself to send at least 5 new messages a week. I sent one yesterday and got a decent response. Here's hoping this keeps up. I'd like to have a couple dates here in the next 2 weeks. My leagues are slowing down, and I need a new sport to keep me occupied. Dating it is!
On a side note, I got hit on by a drunk Hispanic guy on the bus ride home from Lolla who told me I was the most beautiful...slur slur slurrrrrrrr. Of course he got off the bus at the same stop I did. Luckily I was not impaired in the least, and he didn't try to follow me or anything. The bus driver waited to make sure I made it up the street okay. Seriously - this is the reason why I'm online dating. These are the types of people that I draw in real life. I would love to know what people see in me that they a) think it's okay to harrass me on a bus with tales of my beauty and b) won't talk to me if they have an ounce of normality. One day I'll figure it out - until then, we keep scamming on profiles on OKC. Full speed ahead!
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
That one wrong dance step when doing the Macarena...
We've have progressed to phone number exchange! Specifically with two guys. One didn't make my list yesterday, mainly because I'm not really that excited about him. The other is the Veteran...but I just saw the message and haven't actually used the phone number/given him mine yet.
This guy, Denver as he shall be called, has inspired very bleh feelings. He seems nice enough, we certainly have a lot of things in common, and he looks attractive enough based on his profile photos. I don't know why I'm so uninterested...or rather unenamored by him. Either way, we exchanged enough messages, and we swapped digits. He called me on Monday night, but I missed it. Partly because I was still in a bratwurst-induced WI coma and partly because my phone is almost always on vibrate.
I had trouble talking myself into calling him yesterday, so I just texted him and asked if he cared to chat on Thursday since my week was crazy. Oh so very crazy. I had a volleyball game at 8:30pm that I was mentally preparing for. That's my story. We bantered a little bit; it was cute. He came off like a nice guy.
What I did NOT expect was a text message today. And a two pager at that...complete with spaces between lines. I get that you're excited to chat with me (as you should be), but it's a little intense. I went from warming up to him to being convinced he was going to cut off one of my fingers as a keepsake. I'm not sure when I started believing that any guy that showed genuine interest was going to kill me (well, actually I can pinpoint it, but that's another post for another day).
It amazes me how quickly someone can fall out of favor. I mean, all it takes is one overzealous text message - granted I wasn't crazy about the guy to begin with - to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I've had people make a simple spelling/grammatical in a message, and I write them off. And yet, the last job I applied for, my cover letter was riddled with typos (and THEY still called me).
I was definitely on my high horse and complaining about everything yesterday. But I'm going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he is just amazed that someone can be this cool. Plus, he just used "prowess" in a text message, and I'm a sucker for vocab.
This guy, Denver as he shall be called, has inspired very bleh feelings. He seems nice enough, we certainly have a lot of things in common, and he looks attractive enough based on his profile photos. I don't know why I'm so uninterested...or rather unenamored by him. Either way, we exchanged enough messages, and we swapped digits. He called me on Monday night, but I missed it. Partly because I was still in a bratwurst-induced WI coma and partly because my phone is almost always on vibrate.
I had trouble talking myself into calling him yesterday, so I just texted him and asked if he cared to chat on Thursday since my week was crazy. Oh so very crazy. I had a volleyball game at 8:30pm that I was mentally preparing for. That's my story. We bantered a little bit; it was cute. He came off like a nice guy.
What I did NOT expect was a text message today. And a two pager at that...complete with spaces between lines. I get that you're excited to chat with me (as you should be), but it's a little intense. I went from warming up to him to being convinced he was going to cut off one of my fingers as a keepsake. I'm not sure when I started believing that any guy that showed genuine interest was going to kill me (well, actually I can pinpoint it, but that's another post for another day).
It amazes me how quickly someone can fall out of favor. I mean, all it takes is one overzealous text message - granted I wasn't crazy about the guy to begin with - to leave a bad taste in my mouth. I've had people make a simple spelling/grammatical in a message, and I write them off. And yet, the last job I applied for, my cover letter was riddled with typos (and THEY still called me).
I was definitely on my high horse and complaining about everything yesterday. But I'm going to give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he is just amazed that someone can be this cool. Plus, he just used "prowess" in a text message, and I'm a sucker for vocab.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Dinner for 4
My mom emailed me today about going to dinner with her and my dad for their anniversary. She's been loving coming into the city to visit, and after her last visit, decided that my father needed to try Rick Bayless's Frontera. So she called and made reservations at 6pm for four. Four.
Let me share a little something friends, I am an only child. Judge away, and make any comments you want about being spoiled, ungrateful...whatever. This is important information in that 1+1+1=3, not four. Apparently my mother is also ready for me to date.
When I inquired "Ma, exactly who is this 4th mystery person?", she responded with "Well, November is a long time away. ;)". Yes, my mother threw a wink face at me. She has NO IDEA that means DTF...a lesson I learned courtesy of OKC. Or maybe she does, and she's trying to get me to come around to the idea of sex with strangers.
Either way, I was hit this morning with the realization that my mother thinks I should be in a relationship by now. And while I started this journey a week in advance of her innuendo (preemptive strike?), it still kind of bothers me. I have friends that are in their mid-thirties that are not anywhere close to being ready to settle down. I mean, c'mon...Sex and the City were in their 40's.
I think we all want to find someone to share lazy Sundays with, but the more we're pressured and the faster we try to do it, the worse the decisions are that we make. Mom and I are going to have a come to Jesus meeting, because this can't continue. Nothing comes more quickly when you force it, and god knows I'm not the needy type. I do like dating, but I'd rather be single than stuck in a shitty relationship to appease someone else. Been there, and I barely made it off the edge once.
Let me share a little something friends, I am an only child. Judge away, and make any comments you want about being spoiled, ungrateful...whatever. This is important information in that 1+1+1=3, not four. Apparently my mother is also ready for me to date.
When I inquired "Ma, exactly who is this 4th mystery person?", she responded with "Well, November is a long time away. ;)". Yes, my mother threw a wink face at me. She has NO IDEA that means DTF...a lesson I learned courtesy of OKC. Or maybe she does, and she's trying to get me to come around to the idea of sex with strangers.
Either way, I was hit this morning with the realization that my mother thinks I should be in a relationship by now. And while I started this journey a week in advance of her innuendo (preemptive strike?), it still kind of bothers me. I have friends that are in their mid-thirties that are not anywhere close to being ready to settle down. I mean, c'mon...Sex and the City were in their 40's.
I think we all want to find someone to share lazy Sundays with, but the more we're pressured and the faster we try to do it, the worse the decisions are that we make. Mom and I are going to have a come to Jesus meeting, because this can't continue. Nothing comes more quickly when you force it, and god knows I'm not the needy type. I do like dating, but I'd rather be single than stuck in a shitty relationship to appease someone else. Been there, and I barely made it off the edge once.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Backpedal Bonanza
So here's the thing with online dating. That first week is really exciting. Everyone you scroll through has the potential to be "The One" or at least "Good Enough To Buy Me A Drink". I have winked/flirted with a ton of guys who are now responding to my casual advances. And each one I am looking at, I am so confused as to what I was thinking.
For starters I am still messaging fairly continuously with three guys...granted, of the three, only one is from the original batch last week. The other two are relatively new to my inbox.
The Veteran, as he will now be officially dubbed, is on a burger quest, has an unusual profile picture that hides his eyes, and enjoys margaritas, Ninja Warrior, and weddings. The standard information that I usually get (job, neighborhood, etc.) has not been discussed, which is actually kind of exciting assuming he ever actually proposes a date. But, it's also only been a week, so I'll calm down.
Behind Door #2 we have an English teacher who shall be named the Professor. He's got the nerdy glasses, adorable stubble, and I'm very much blinded by his vocabulary. Nearly blinded enough to ignore that he fessed up to seeing moe. 70 times. No, I'm not talking about the 3rd Stooge either...think jam band beyond DMB. He also has a cat. But he's so adorable! Bleh - with my allergies to cats and jam bands, this will probably only take one sleepover before I come to my senses. Assuming we get that far. I narrowly averted making a Hocus Pocus reference today...I forget not all people appreciate the art of Bette Midler in that movie.
My current 3rd prospect (which, they will all likely fall off the map long before I get around to exchanging numbers) is Meatloaf. Not literally (and I'm not sure if that would be awesome or regrettable), but because he threw a housewarming party featuring 8lbs of meatloaf, a Meatloaf soundtrack, and movies featuring Meatloaf. Personally, I would do this in warmer weather, but I still think it's rather brilliant. He's a bit of a creative type; as an accountant, I tend to seek these "outside the box" thinkers. Perhaps to combat my own rigidity? Shit just got real.
Anywho, these are the people I kind of like. I have, however, spent the better part of today dancing away from my previous declarations of attraction. I've had a message chain with a guy with a ridiculous mustache going that I just deleted. Mainly because I don't think I could ever date Boris and I'm not sure how I feel about a guy being able to twirl any portion of hair on his body. I also gave a guy 4 stars who didn't even have a full face shot. I have no idea why that was a good idea. And he decided to message me. I couldn't put together a response...he was also 5'7"...I'm 5'10" (we think...it's like weighing yourself...you never REALLY want to know once you cross 5'7"). I'm aware these are completely superficial rejections - and I'm not proud of it. But, it's Monday, I'm still half hungover from a weekend in WI, and I'm allowed to make some bad decisions.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and not get so picky. I think a lot of it has to do with putting in the effort to respond to an email. You start weighing the potential for carpal tunnel versus a date. Carpal tunnel won today.
For starters I am still messaging fairly continuously with three guys...granted, of the three, only one is from the original batch last week. The other two are relatively new to my inbox.
The Veteran, as he will now be officially dubbed, is on a burger quest, has an unusual profile picture that hides his eyes, and enjoys margaritas, Ninja Warrior, and weddings. The standard information that I usually get (job, neighborhood, etc.) has not been discussed, which is actually kind of exciting assuming he ever actually proposes a date. But, it's also only been a week, so I'll calm down.
Behind Door #2 we have an English teacher who shall be named the Professor. He's got the nerdy glasses, adorable stubble, and I'm very much blinded by his vocabulary. Nearly blinded enough to ignore that he fessed up to seeing moe. 70 times. No, I'm not talking about the 3rd Stooge either...think jam band beyond DMB. He also has a cat. But he's so adorable! Bleh - with my allergies to cats and jam bands, this will probably only take one sleepover before I come to my senses. Assuming we get that far. I narrowly averted making a Hocus Pocus reference today...I forget not all people appreciate the art of Bette Midler in that movie.
My current 3rd prospect (which, they will all likely fall off the map long before I get around to exchanging numbers) is Meatloaf. Not literally (and I'm not sure if that would be awesome or regrettable), but because he threw a housewarming party featuring 8lbs of meatloaf, a Meatloaf soundtrack, and movies featuring Meatloaf. Personally, I would do this in warmer weather, but I still think it's rather brilliant. He's a bit of a creative type; as an accountant, I tend to seek these "outside the box" thinkers. Perhaps to combat my own rigidity? Shit just got real.
Anywho, these are the people I kind of like. I have, however, spent the better part of today dancing away from my previous declarations of attraction. I've had a message chain with a guy with a ridiculous mustache going that I just deleted. Mainly because I don't think I could ever date Boris and I'm not sure how I feel about a guy being able to twirl any portion of hair on his body. I also gave a guy 4 stars who didn't even have a full face shot. I have no idea why that was a good idea. And he decided to message me. I couldn't put together a response...he was also 5'7"...I'm 5'10" (we think...it's like weighing yourself...you never REALLY want to know once you cross 5'7"). I'm aware these are completely superficial rejections - and I'm not proud of it. But, it's Monday, I'm still half hungover from a weekend in WI, and I'm allowed to make some bad decisions.
I'm trying to keep an open mind and not get so picky. I think a lot of it has to do with putting in the effort to respond to an email. You start weighing the potential for carpal tunnel versus a date. Carpal tunnel won today.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Researching Love?
A lot of women feel the need to do "research" and analysis on why they're single. Don't get me wrong, I've fallen into the trap before. There are few things I enjoy more than a witty dating blog (ahem) or watching a reality show like Millionaire Matchmaker.
While these can certainly be entertaining, I think we sometimes put too much stock in the lessons that these shows teach. Tough Love is a perfect example. I adore Steve Ward and would love to sleep with him (oh yeah, it's out there. And I mean it.). That being said, I don't know that all his rules are really rocket science. I mean, don't be weird? Seriously? There are women that you have to TELL to not be weird? It boggles my mind. Patti Stanger has some seriously biting quotes and advice too. I have curly hair, and I still take offense to the idea that "no one wants to date a Brillo pad". That being said, I am hit on 5X more when my hair is straight. So, maybe she is on to something.
I started watching Miss-Advised on Bravo and only got through one episode. It is legitimately painful. I don't buy that any of those women could be deemed a "relationship expert". Now, I don't necessarily believe that if I saw myself on a date on TV that it would be flawless, but I'd like to believe that I don't come off like a total crazy person. At a minimum, I wouldn't have a conniption over drinking hot chocolate.
At the end of the day, no one can explain why or how we're single or in a relationship. I dated a guy who said it was all about timing and luck, and I totally believe that. Some people are fucked up headcases, absolutely. But I know a few who are that are in successful relationships. I can research and watch reality shows ad nauseum, but it's not going to get me a date unless I get the hell off my couch and into a bar/grocery store/over to my desk chair and onto an online site.
By the way, Day 2 has yielded my first lesbian request. From an 18 year old. That being said, I am corresponding with 3 potential guys who seem fun. Who knows though - that changes quickly. I also definitely dropped the 4th guy from yesterday. It was like talking to a brick wall via email. If you can't write a complete thought and ask questions, this is never going to work.
While these can certainly be entertaining, I think we sometimes put too much stock in the lessons that these shows teach. Tough Love is a perfect example. I adore Steve Ward and would love to sleep with him (oh yeah, it's out there. And I mean it.). That being said, I don't know that all his rules are really rocket science. I mean, don't be weird? Seriously? There are women that you have to TELL to not be weird? It boggles my mind. Patti Stanger has some seriously biting quotes and advice too. I have curly hair, and I still take offense to the idea that "no one wants to date a Brillo pad". That being said, I am hit on 5X more when my hair is straight. So, maybe she is on to something.
I started watching Miss-Advised on Bravo and only got through one episode. It is legitimately painful. I don't buy that any of those women could be deemed a "relationship expert". Now, I don't necessarily believe that if I saw myself on a date on TV that it would be flawless, but I'd like to believe that I don't come off like a total crazy person. At a minimum, I wouldn't have a conniption over drinking hot chocolate.
At the end of the day, no one can explain why or how we're single or in a relationship. I dated a guy who said it was all about timing and luck, and I totally believe that. Some people are fucked up headcases, absolutely. But I know a few who are that are in successful relationships. I can research and watch reality shows ad nauseum, but it's not going to get me a date unless I get the hell off my couch and into a bar/grocery store/over to my desk chair and onto an online site.
By the way, Day 2 has yielded my first lesbian request. From an 18 year old. That being said, I am corresponding with 3 potential guys who seem fun. Who knows though - that changes quickly. I also definitely dropped the 4th guy from yesterday. It was like talking to a brick wall via email. If you can't write a complete thought and ask questions, this is never going to work.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
24 Hours and Counting
I've officially been listed on OKC for 24 hours. I feel like I earned a merit badge. Potentially a demerit badge depending on how this goes. I always forget how exciting this is. Honestly, it's kind of like having 50 random strangers come up and tell you you're pretty. It's never a bad thing to hear.
Nothing much as far as breaking news. It's all introductory "hi, where are you from" stuff. Scamming through a million pictures and profiles, guessing at who could hold a cocktail and a conversation. I'm emailing with 4 guys as of yesterday. Three seem vaguely normal; I'm pretty sure the 4th won't make the cut - he's not the brightest crayon in the box. I've learned to steer clear of the perennial bouncer from my last run at this. But, you never know. And like I said before, if you're not going to wear my skin, I'll try it.
I'm also a big believer in messaging the hell out of people. Honestly, I've probably sent about 8-10 messages in the past 24 hours. I don't know, maybe men view that as aggressive. All I know is that the messages I receive, 9 times out of 10, are from creeps or out of towners. I literally had a guy from FL email me to say the following:
"You created a very enjoyable profile to read! I live far away and we most likely would never meet, but I though you should know from someone completely anonymous that you rock. Rock on, girl...rock on."
I don't even know what to do with that. I did an internet shrug and moved on.
The more interesting development is that OKC has decided to use me to moderate the website. Yup, apparently someone thought that I have a great sense of propriety and decency (misread on that one), and they have now given me the power to review pictures, profiles, and messages that are deemed "inappropriate" by users. I am not Spiderman - I do not believe that this great power comes with great responsibility. So, I'll share a few of my favorites as this blog continues. I didn't have much time yesterday to investigate. But, I did come across a woman in a mesh body suit (nipples out!) posing with a dog statue. The woman, by the way, was over 50. Yahtzee! I told OKC to "Leave It Alone"...I hope I'm that brazen when I'm 50.
Nothing much as far as breaking news. It's all introductory "hi, where are you from" stuff. Scamming through a million pictures and profiles, guessing at who could hold a cocktail and a conversation. I'm emailing with 4 guys as of yesterday. Three seem vaguely normal; I'm pretty sure the 4th won't make the cut - he's not the brightest crayon in the box. I've learned to steer clear of the perennial bouncer from my last run at this. But, you never know. And like I said before, if you're not going to wear my skin, I'll try it.
I'm also a big believer in messaging the hell out of people. Honestly, I've probably sent about 8-10 messages in the past 24 hours. I don't know, maybe men view that as aggressive. All I know is that the messages I receive, 9 times out of 10, are from creeps or out of towners. I literally had a guy from FL email me to say the following:
"You created a very enjoyable profile to read! I live far away and we most likely would never meet, but I though you should know from someone completely anonymous that you rock. Rock on, girl...rock on."
I don't even know what to do with that. I did an internet shrug and moved on.
The more interesting development is that OKC has decided to use me to moderate the website. Yup, apparently someone thought that I have a great sense of propriety and decency (misread on that one), and they have now given me the power to review pictures, profiles, and messages that are deemed "inappropriate" by users. I am not Spiderman - I do not believe that this great power comes with great responsibility. So, I'll share a few of my favorites as this blog continues. I didn't have much time yesterday to investigate. But, I did come across a woman in a mesh body suit (nipples out!) posing with a dog statue. The woman, by the way, was over 50. Yahtzee! I told OKC to "Leave It Alone"...I hope I'm that brazen when I'm 50.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Placing an ad
I've been on hiatus from online dating...well, dating in general. I went through my "find a boyfriend before it's cold" phase in October last year and ended up dating someone who ghosted conveniently a week before Valentine's Day. I then found myself needing a distraction and experimented with OKCupid for the better part of February and March.
With summer here, I thought for sure I could snag a summer fling. The one problem being that I'm not in the fling spirit. I've had the fling, I've been the fling, I've dumped the fling. That's a lot of "f" words for an initial posting. I promise not to tone it down.
So, in an attempt to spice things up (and courtesy of the inspiration from okcenemies.com), I decided to fire up the old profile again. This is legitimately Day One. Or, Day One of Round 2 for you sticklers out there.
I am pleased to report that in the past hour I have already received 3 messages...ranging from a man in an unironic pimp hat to a kid (he's 24 for godsakes, I don't want to change diapers) swearing he's not a douchelord.
I'm not as bitter as I sound...I have an equal opportunity dating policy. If you make the effort, can manage a coherent message, and I don't get the feeling you're going to skin me, I'll go out with you. My mom would not approve of this taking-candy-from-stranger's attitude, but hey, I never found a needle in my candy apple on Halloween.
Now, I know there are thousands upon thousands of blogs in the giant blogosphere with women chronicling their dating experiences. From the mundane to the tragic to the hysterical. I can't promise I'll have any great advice or special insight. The only thing I can offer is a report of my meetings, messages, and transgressions. I've been talking about documenting this for years, and you know what? It's about time I actually did something about it.
So here we go...
With summer here, I thought for sure I could snag a summer fling. The one problem being that I'm not in the fling spirit. I've had the fling, I've been the fling, I've dumped the fling. That's a lot of "f" words for an initial posting. I promise not to tone it down.
So, in an attempt to spice things up (and courtesy of the inspiration from okcenemies.com), I decided to fire up the old profile again. This is legitimately Day One. Or, Day One of Round 2 for you sticklers out there.
I am pleased to report that in the past hour I have already received 3 messages...ranging from a man in an unironic pimp hat to a kid (he's 24 for godsakes, I don't want to change diapers) swearing he's not a douchelord.
I'm not as bitter as I sound...I have an equal opportunity dating policy. If you make the effort, can manage a coherent message, and I don't get the feeling you're going to skin me, I'll go out with you. My mom would not approve of this taking-candy-from-stranger's attitude, but hey, I never found a needle in my candy apple on Halloween.
Now, I know there are thousands upon thousands of blogs in the giant blogosphere with women chronicling their dating experiences. From the mundane to the tragic to the hysterical. I can't promise I'll have any great advice or special insight. The only thing I can offer is a report of my meetings, messages, and transgressions. I've been talking about documenting this for years, and you know what? It's about time I actually did something about it.
So here we go...
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